On the loss of a loved one
A friend once said, "if you want to know how much you can love someone, wait till you lose them, then you will know how much more you can love them. Death is one of the most difficult things we will ever have to deal with in life, it brings out the best; and sometimes the worst, it might be an end to a time of suffering; or perhaps someone was taken all too soon, perhaps the person was taken an hour ago, or perhaps they were taken years ago and you have had a time to grieve properly.
As Christians, we believe that death is not the end, that it is merely a gateway which we all have to pass through, but through which we are welcomed into our eternal home where these frail bodies cannot hold us back any longer.
For us who are left behind, it is tough, it's supposed to be, that's how we know we loved them, but a Church service brings 2 things together. It will bring the dignity your loved one deserves as we send them on their way, and it will have the hope that this is not the end, that there is something more to come.
As a church, we are not here just to conduct the service for you in the church or crematorium, we are here to walk with you during your time of loss. We will be with you for as long as you need us and we are looking to open our church more during the week to provide more day to day pastoral care, in particular through a Bereavement Café.
If you need us for anything, if you are grieving, or worried, if you would like to talk through funeral arrangements for yourself or a loved one we are here for you.
We have been made increasingly aware of the growing provision for "Quickie Cremations" with subtle, attractive marketing, showing an ease, less trouble, save more money for the loved ones to inherit. They use language of being a burden, expense, pulling on the viewers emotions that they are helping their loved ones by taking away the expense and the hassle.
It sounds great... simple, easy, cheap, hassle free, but there is a problem.
When do the mourners say goodbye?
Whilst you may feel that you have removed their burden, in reality most people we have encountered do not feel this way, in fact they feel far worse.
A funeral isn't just about the deceased, it is also about offering the family a space to grieve, to say goodbye, a marker in the journey of grief, to do right by their loved one, and it is through this they meet professionals who provide ongoing pastoral care for them.
In our conversations many people say that they haven't, nor have they had the support and care which is provided by the Funeral Directors, ourselves or celebrants. There is a feeling that things haven't been done properly, that there is something unresolved, a disorientation, on top of the grief which they are already feeling. "Its too late", "I can't believe they did this".
Firstly if you are considering a Quickie Cremation, please, please talk to a local Funeral Director and get their opinion on costings, a payment plan now fixes the cost, and the Quickie Cremation are often not that much cheaper than an actual service.
Secondly, if your loved one has chosen to use one of these services, we can still help you!
Whether it is a burial in the churchyard, or a private remembrance service, a marker on a special day, or inclusion in our annual memorial service, a coffee and a chat, we are here to help you, and will tailor a service to suit your needs, providing a way of saying goodbye.
If you would like to have a chat with us, please reach out through our contact us page, or on the phone number/email below.
FAQ (click to expand)
How do we go about booking a funeral?
The best way to arrange the funeral is through your funeral director, and mention us to them. They will reach out and contact us as part of the arrangements for the day
They weren't christened, is that a problem?
Not at all, we are happy to assist you, as a Church our ministry team are required to conduct a funeral service which is principally Christian in orientation, but they will discuss with you what this means.
Are there any restrictions?
As mentioned above, the service should be principally Christian in orientation, in reality we have a lot of room for creativity, and will work with you on your individual requests. We will need a time to remember the deceased, a bible reading, prayers for the family, a prayer as we ask God to care for the deceased, and a sending prayer.
They've had a Quickie Cremation, what do we do?
Get in touch, we'll be happy to help
Can our relative be buried in your churchyard and how much does a burial cost?
Our graveyard is large and nearly at capacity, we do have some ashes plots remaining and can also re-open existing graves to reunite individuals in family plots. The churchyard burial fee is set by the national church, and we also have to pay our site maintainer to prepare the space. The total cost depends on a few variables, but is usually around £350, assuming there is no service in church.